Ian's Dilemma
by BreesUnicorn
Summary: AU. Ian Gallagher. There are many things that can be said about this boy. He did ROTC, he wanted to join the army, he was a hard worker but the most importantly,he is still a kid. He may be taller than most men, and he definitely experienced more hardships in life then an average man but that still didn't change the fact he was a kid, who just wanted love. TW Abuse


**Hi everyone! This is my first ever Shameless fanfic. I got the idea from a prompt on tumblr, however I havent been able to get in contact with the prompter. **

**I do not own shameless**

* * *

Ian Gallagher. There are many things that can be said about this boy. He did ROTC, he wanted to join the army, he was a hard worker but the most important definition of him is that he is still a kid. He may be taller than most men, and he definitely experienced more hardships in life then an average man but that still didn't change the fact he was a kid, who just wanted to be loved.

Everyone around Ian could sense his need for acceptance and love, but no one really acted upon it. This was south side Chicago, everyone here needed a little love. It took a special, if not messed up, kind of person to notice this need for love and use it as a way for you own gain. Ian knew this happened to him, but that didn't mean he had to accept it.

It started off with Kash. The older man had seen the desire in the kids eyes the moment he hired him. Kash wanted to be dominated in any way possible, and if that meant it being by a gangly kid then so be it. Despite this not being Ian's first time, he was still shaken and a little confused by their first encounter. The more it happened the more Ian began to realise it was wrong. That was when the present started coming in, Jackets, shoes and money for school excursions. "_Couples_ _do this for each other_" Kash had told Ian repeatedly as the boy tried to reject the gifts. When it finally sunk in, the word **couple**, Ian felt so overwhelmed by love that he started accepting everything Kash gave and told him. Soon Ian even began returning the favour. CD's were his way to pay the man back, despite Ian knowing the man only bothered to play them when he was around. Kash kept getting what he wanted from the boy, and Ian got to pretend that he was being loved. That all changed however, through the small form of Mickey Milkovich.

The ex-con took Ian's world by surprise. Sure it was just fucking, the same as with Kash, but this time Ian craved for the boy. There were no gifts, no words of advice there was nothing but pure passion. When Kash found out about the two of them, Ian's eyes were forced open as the bullet lodged into Mickey's thigh. "_Kash is dangerous"_. Once Mickey returned to Juvie, because he wouldn't confess that Kash was a psychopath, Ian began to change. He blackmailed Kash to send money into Mickey. He sided with Linda on every argument the couple had. Hell, when the coward ran away Ian stayed loyally with Linda until she had given birth. Mickey was back by this point, and with Kash gone Ian soon found him a job working at the Kash and Grab. Things picked up the way they left off, passionate sex and occasional comradeship between the boys. That all changed though, when Ian's stupid feelings betrayed him and he fell head over heels in love with the con. Ian didn't want a repeat of Kash so he hid his feelings. He wouldn't show his love through gifts, kisses or any ways he would with Kash. Sex. Sex was his gateway to show Mickey how he felt. All of this ended though, as he heart shattered from a single phrase.

"You're nothing but a warm mouth to me"

* * *

Ian allowed himself to nurse his heart in the only way he knew. He would hide his feelings until he was alone, the only time being when he was in the shower. He would cry under the stream of water, hoping if it washed away his tears then maybe the pain wouldn't be real.

Monica was back now too. Despite the fact she filtered quite easily under _neglectful mother_ Ian needed someone to love him, and for now that was what she was offering. She understood how hard it was to be attracted to the same gender, living in fear of someone finding out and hurting him. But she was also proud, and so was he. He started going to clubs with his mother and he never felt happier. He got the attention of many men, and he never had to worry about his feelings being hurt. That changed though, when he met Lloyd.

Lloyd had taken Ian home on the one night he went to the club alone. Ian was drunk and a little stoned on god knows what. He wasn't usually up for drugs, but somehow Lloyd convinced him to try this one out. He remembers being shoved onto the bed, a rough session soon followed. Ian hadn't ever really bottomed, so he had no idea what to expect. It was nice though, being dominated and pleasured. It began to bring up the feelings he so desperately was trying to hide.

Lloyd and him had exchanged numbers and were soon meeting up every night in Llyod's lavish hotel room. Sometimes Ian would top, most of the time Lloyd would. He liked the older man, he was smart, caring and always was upfront about liking younger people. Lloyd was bisexual, something that Ian had grown to understand and accept. Ian knew Lloyd had a wife, and was jimmy/Steve, and was sleeping around with other girls but he never minded. That changed one night though, when Lloyd came into the Kash & Grab and told Ian that his wife knew about them. Mickey was back in his life by this point, and Ian was beginning to feel torn. Part of him wanted to end things with Lloyd but he never could. Ian and Mickey only slept together once since he had been released from Juvie this second time around, and Ian knew it was because he was attached to Lloyd.

Later that night, Ian had shown up at Lloyds hotel room and the older man kissed him passionately and he asked the boy. "Can we become exclusive?"

Ian was shocked by the question. Someone wanted to be exclusive with him. He wasn't anything special, he was just a good fuck. But this man, this sophisticated and rich man wanted Ian. Smiling widely Ian nodded his head and soon pounced on the other man. They made love as a couple for the first time that night. If only Ian had noticed the predatory look on the doctors face.

* * *

Ian wasn't deliberately avoiding his boyfriend, they had spent the majority of the week together already. He just had a lot going on at the current time. Lip had decided to beat up a local paedophile, who just happened to be the woman who was plastered over the news in the previous year. Vee had forced Kev's wife to sign the divorce paper, and kicked her out with her and Kev's so called "son". Mandy's half-sister had moved into their home, although she was actually a "he" who had a messed up parent. Frank had taken Carl out for the week, something Ian couldn't help but worry about, and now the man he had been sleeping with in secret was stumbling through the front door drunk out of his mind.

Lloyd reaches out to grab Ian, who in a state of shock allowed him to tumble to the floor. He knew he'd pay for that later but right now he couldn't care less. Lloyd wasn't someone he wanted around his family. Ian wasn't in an abusive relationship, _not at all_ had he convinced himself. Lloyd just had a temper. Everyone in the South Side did, it wasn't that bad that Lloyd was occasionally rough, or would shove him into objects such as the walls or shower screen when Ian made him upset. Ian knew he deserved to be treated like this, but that didn't mean his family needed to be involved. With the drunken form of his _lover_ on the couch Ian was quick to make his way up to his room and to fall onto his bed, hopeful this could all just be a dream.

It was wishful thinking to hope this could all blow over. As Lip screamed and a body fell to the floor Ian was quick to jump out of his bed and switch the lights on. Fiona and Jimmy/Steve were quick to enter the room as well.

"Jesus dad" Jimmy/Steve groaned with annoyance as his father laid naked on floor

"He just tried to rape me" Lip shouted in disgust as he looked with disgust at the naked body on the floor.

"Was looking for the bathroom" Lloyd mumbled pathetically as he tried to come up with a lie

"Dude I know when someone's trying to go balls deep on me" Lip screeched as he jumped down from his bed. Lloyd was helped up off the ground by his son, and soon the two of them left the room. Fiona and Lip begin to argue about what had just taken place, both of them terribly confused.

Ian crossed his arms protectively over his chest before he confessed "He was looking for me"

"What?" Fiona asked in shock as she saw her younger brother begin to shake

"We've been together for a while now" Ian confesses "He must've mistaken Lips bed for mine"

Turning away from his family, Ian walked out of the room and ignored his siblings protests. Ian just wanted to be alone. He knew were Lloyd would be heading and so he chose to take the slow journey to their hotel. Walking into the room Ian didn't expect the fist that flew into his face. He didn't fight back as fist connected with other parts of his body until the old man finally relented.

"I'm sorry" Ian stated

"Good" Lloyd said with a nod of approval "Come now, you have to make up for my son finding out about us."

* * *

This relationship continued for months. Ian would see Lloyd; they'd fuck and if Ian was lucky he wouldn't have any noticeable bruises. He began changing, no longer the optimistic boy who wanted to defend his country. Ian Gallagher was now described as silent, brooding and covered in bruises. Mickey began to notice the changes in his ex-lover and was growing increasingly worried.

"Ay Gallagher" Mickey greeted as he showed up for his shift half an hour late "What the fuck is going on?"

"Besides you being late?" Ian asks in confusion "I have to restock some cans of soup"

"Don't act dumb firecrotch" Mickey grumbles in annoyance, he didn't want anyone thinking he was soft but damn he was worried about the red haired Gallagher "You've been acting different, is it that fucken geriatric douche?"

Ian began to panic as Mickey was putting the pieces together right in front of him. _No! God no! No one else can find out about it._ "Nothings wrong?"

"Bullshit" Mickey shouts in annoyance "You've gone and gotten yourself into another abusive relationship haven't you dipshit?"

Ian tried to hide his face as tears began brewing in his eyes, he was screwed now. Mickey noticed the subtle motion and was soon leaning over the counter and grabbing his Gallagher's face. "Ian it'll be okay"

"He's going to kill me" Ian whispers fearfully "It's all my fault because I'm so fucken stupid"

"Yeah you are" Mickey agrees with a teasing smile on his face. Ian feels the warmth in his stomach that only Mickey provided, on the rare occasions when he earned one of these rare smiles from his Milkovich. "No one's hurting you while I'm around"

Mickey and Ian went back to the Gallagher household that day. They spent the majority of their day planning on what to do and the only conclusion they could come to was tell Fiona. Fiona needed to know what she was getting into, in case Jimmy/Steve ever became anything like his deadbeat father.

Fiona cried as Ian told her everything that had happened. She wrapped her arms around her baby bother as he began crying himself. "Thank you for telling me Ian, I will deal with this I promise"

Mickey and Ian were sitting in the lounge room, watching Deadliest Catch when Fiona began yelling at Jimmy/Steve. The older man began to cry himself, and surprisingly he walked into the dirty lounge room and embraced Ian in a hug.

"He will never come near you again"


End file.
